The Importance of Taking Time to Get Away as a Couple

Relationships require attention, care, and intention.

I often see couples who let their relationship fade, because they forgot how much attention their relationships need! Think of what helped the couple grow in the first place- time, energy, excitement of doing different things together, laughter, fun, and deep conversations. When couples start to settle into daily life with one another, these same things can start to disappear. Couples will spend time next to each other watching shows and cooking dinner. They’ll coordinate schedules and figure out their daily routines. But the spark that comes from all those activities that the couple first did together will fade without intentional time.

Kids complicate things

When kids enter the picture for couples, I hear even more about the changing dynamics between the partners. Without the conscious effort of making sure the couple’s relationship is a priority, the time between them often morphs into coordinating schedules, and setting up the family as a whole for a success. While those are definitely needed activities for a growing family, the relationship between partners will dim even further. The relationship that formed the family can take last place on the priorities, and this will be felt by the whole family.

Set up intentional time as a Couple

My biggest advice for any couple that has been together for a while is to make regular time as a couple to explore, have fun and enjoy each other’s company once again! Especially time away from the kids to help each other feel prioritized, seen and loved.

This can look so different for couples. It may mean setting aside time once the kids are asleep to have fun together. It may mean setting up a regular date night (even once per month makes a difference). It may mean setting up a longer time to get away together without the kids.

If you’re interested in ideas, look up date ideas in your local area. Find out when there are free days at the local museum or art galleries. Discover a new restaurant or have a picnic at a new park. List what activities you would like to learn or try out together like painting, cooking, rock climbing, or axe throwing. Find an escape room that you can do as a couple. The world is your oyster!

I always suggest to my couples to start small as any time together just the two of you may feel a bit awkward when you’re out of practice. And that’s okay! Maybe start by doing an activity together and as you feel more and more comfortable, you can start to prioritize time for conversation.

Plan a couples get-away

This may not be possible to do as regularly, but try to plan a get-away as a couple. If you need ideas on where to look, consider booking a hotel room for one or two nights or read this article about secluded cabins that are great for couples to spend time adventuring and getting to know each other again.

Get your SPARK back!

If you and your partner are struggling in your relationship and want to rejuvenate your relationship. Consider couples counseling. This is not only time set aside to work on your relationship, but is also led by a trained counselor to help you talk about things in a new way. Many couples only consider counseling as the last resort, but it can help at any stage of a relationship. Get your relationship back on track by taking some steps today!

If you’re in Colorado and are interested in couples counseling, consider Steckel Family Therapy. You can book a free consultation to learn more.